Today, May 7th 2011, my divorce finalized. Yes I am newly divorced from Mr Creamy Crack. I've spent the last 12 months transitioning.
Not taking anyone from dumbos but some people do not know what the term transitioning means (believe me I was shocked to find out today!), it means when you are separating yourself from Mrs Creamy Crack. It is the time period when you decide you will no longer want to relax your hair. I've tried to transition before but my lovely sister convinced me last year to relax my hair to go on a cruise after 10 months of no relaxer. I remembered I got a lot of : "Ah Mica tet la grinn wi la! Fok ou mete pemanant!" from friends and family. My sister, at the time, could braid my hair for me.
I don't know about you, but nobody but my sister touches my hair! Mwen pe peny! This time around, she couldn't braid my hair for me. She developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and soon after she had triple bypass heart surgery. I had my epiphany when my niece came to see her at the hospital and she had some twist outs! I was in love with her hair! I remember telling them both that I am so not going back.
Needless to say that this journey was a trying period for me. After my sister's convalescence and me coming back home, I started doing research on all things for natural hair. Instead, I found all things natural! Light bulbs were constantly flashing in my head. My immediate sounding boards were Martine, Malou and Arcelle. I'm always hitting them out with my newest discoveries and they encouraged me in my journey.
I first discovered bantu knot outs! This was a God sent! Imagine that I could not braid my hair (nobody touches my hair but me and my sister, remember!), I could only put it in a ponytail and a head band. I started to sport it every weekend. I was also learning about natural products, that's when I decided no more commercial pomades for my hair!
I made my own finger blended shea pomade. I live in Montreal, Canada. There are organic stores but finding certain organic ingredients, se tet neg! I did with what I could find. My first hair butter was just with Shea Butter, Organic Unrefined Coconut Oil, Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EVOO), Jojoba Oil, Tea Tree Oil, Jamaican Black Castor Oil (Martine gave me a bottle), Sweet Almond Oil... I think that's it! As I told you it was finger blended pronto. When I used it on my hair it was another epiphany! Sooooooo soft! My natural and relaxed textures became best buddies! My hair just shines. But something was still missing.
I had a spritz I made with only EVOO and water. It worked! I learned that natural hair - like any other kinky curly natural hair - loves water! It's THE moisturizer for our hair! But my style wouldn't hold for 2 days like others were saying. During my research, I stumbled upon some other spritz adding Aloe Vera Gel. I had purchased Aloe Vera Juice but didn't know how to incorporate it. When I tried that spritz, not only had an epiphany but it sets my soul on fire! I felt like I was in control and I could do this transitioning business forever! The only thing is, I didn't want to keep those relaxed ends forever!
Before I could chop, my friend Martine was going to NY. While there, I sent her a message asking her to get me Miss Jessie's. I did some further research; I saw they aren't natural at all. I told her back off! Then I did a comparison with Kinky Curly, they own hands down. So I sent her an emergency text message, begging her to find Kinky Curly Knot Today for me. I wasn't ready to try the Custard because I didn't big chop yet. I believe 2 mins later, I sent another text asking her to find something I just discovered: Tangle Teezer. She's a good friend wi, she went and got it for me. She came online and said to me: "Mica, pou jan ou konn ap rele nan zorey mwen nan telephone le wap penyen tet ou, sa bagay sa ka fe pou ou?" Mwen di'l konsa: "Pitit, mwen yon fi tet li pi grinn pase swear by it, it might be my answer! Bring it, si'l pa bon ma bay ti moun yo li!"
When she finally brought me the products I was so happy. Now I washed my hair, conditioned, I saw my butt in front of the TV ready to do my bantu knots. The only time a comb touched my hair is before washing and when I have my conditioner in. I started to part with my fingers and I said let me try the Kinky Curly Knot Today (KCKT) and my Tangle Teezer. I always start with the back of my head. Yes, another epiphany! These 2 set my soul on fiyahhh!!! I got on the phone and called Martine to thank her! When she answered, I was like I GOT CURLS!!!! LOL. I placed a dime size of KCKT on my hair, then saturate my hair with my own made pomade and used the tangle teezer! My hair just shrunk into those curls! That was another moment for me! I knew the day was coming sooner than expected!
I know it was a matter of days before I cut it off. My sister has a cold and we have someone very dear to us dying of cancer. So we haven't had the time. Today I called her and said: "I'm cutting it!" She said: "wait until this week, I'll come over and do it for you.. Unless you want to come over now!" I called my niece to pick me up and off I go. Mind you, I had to honor a contract before 4 and arrived at my sister 2:30. Mwen di'l mete sizo! Koupe yo! I don't want to make this long and go into my relationship with my sister. But I'm sure you can understand that overall I trust completely and her opinion matters to me! She was extremely supportive during this journey. By the time I looked in the mirror I giggled! It wasn't due to shock, but more of "FINALLY!!!" giggle.
She helped me with the twisting. I was concerned about her tunnel. But in hindsight, I think she wanted to feel my hair again to compare the texture. She told me that it is very very nice now but it was much nicer: softer and curlier. Hopefully, it will grow back that way!
Let me briefly talk about curl pattern of your natural hair. By 4-6 months, depending on your growth, you should be able to see what your curl pattern looks like. In my case, I found out that I have very curly hair in the back, very coily on the crown and what I call red kou jibis in the front. The reason I call it that is because the front of my hair does not curl at all.. no curl, no springy thingy happen. I had read somewhere that your relaxed hair weighs your natural hair down. I witnessed that day! That front part where I thought I had no curl definition surprised me today! I DO!!! I have a beautiful different textured big ole natural head and I am loving it!
To you who are afraid of embarking on the journey, ask yourself if getting burnt from the relaxer worth it. I always got burnt in the back of my head as soon as the relaxer touched it! Se kouri rinse! I hate those patches! Are you willing to spend hours under a hooded dryer? Are you willing to get burnt by a curling iron? I just couldn't do it anymore! You don't have to embark in this journey alone. If you have any question, just feel free to ask. If you are not comfortable making your own products, there lots of places selling natural products. If you don't know how to style your hair while transitioning, there are lots of videos and infos over the web. Be careful when braiding your hair with extension when undoing the braids; if done in a rush, it might break your hair. Personally I prefer twisting because it takes less time and easier to unbraid (tried it last year during my first transition). Bantu knots worked for me. If your hair is much longer, you can do a twist out. Maintain your style with the spritz.
Here's the link for the spritz' video. Don't watch it as it will make your eyes jerk a lot! Just take down the recipe from the bottom of the page http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zcc3oDwBBng
